It's been a while, is anyone still out there?

It's been a while since I've written anything. I started Uni and just got overloaded with essays, life, new people, moving, life again, trying to figure out how to be at Uni, life some more.

It's been a crazy year, and I've throughly enjoyed it, for the most part. So, hi, I'm back. I'll try and write more, hope it happens, it's therapeutic for me to do so, although not sure how honest I actually am on line!!!

Praying for a miracle

So I just decided to start praying for a miracle. I need a break. My mum needs a break (from me), and I'd really like to go to the USA and see some friends before I start University - but I have no money, none at all - zip! Nada! Nothing! So I thought I'd start praying for a miracle - someone's airmiles, a ticket in my hand, someone saying I'll pay for ticket for you to go to the USA! It needs to be specific, so that I know that it's what God wants, and that it's him giving it to me! My faith is little on this, it seems like such a selfish thing to ask for, and I must admit, I don't see how it can happen, but still, I'm going to start praying.

Slowly coming together and still learning to drive

I'm still learning to drive. A bit ridiculous. I took my driving test last week, and failed, the really sucky thing was that I failed 'cos of a roundabout, will they always be the bane of my existence!? That was what caused me to fail on my last test was roundabouts, oh and a few other things as well.

My next test is next month - could it be third time lucky - 'cos this is getting darn tooting expensive.

Learning and essays oh my

I'm going to University! I start in September 2010, and I'll be studying International Development with NGO Management - I'm very excited about this, and yet also nervous - can I write Essays at my age.

Giving

One of the days we were in Bombay with our team, we split into 2 groups of 4, and each group went to visit houses in the slum area we were visiting.

All the people that we visited this time, were not people that I had met or worked with before and this meant new relationships being built.

The first lady we met however really, really touched me. We went in with our translator to her tiny little shack, and that had 2 rooms, which she instead on showing us - it still wasn't very big by our western standards, but she was so pleased that she'd managed to earn enough money to build an extra room onto her existing room, and insisted on showing each of us what it looked like.

We sat down with her, and she sent her daughter out immediately to get us "cold drinks" - she obviously knew that "cold drinks" were better suited to sensitive western stomachs. Her daughter bought back 2 bottles of a drink called Maaza which is a mango drink - very delicious. The bottles were quite sizeable, and we tried to convince the lady, that we all just needed a small drink and she could save the second bottle for herself and her family, infact one of our team members tried to take one of her metal glasses while it was still only half full, and it was really amusing to see this indian lady almost wrestling it back from her because she believed that we should have a full glass of juice. Once we were settled in with our juice, she began to tell her story, she had been suffering with stomach pains for a while, and finally had got enough money to go to the doctors where they told her that she had a tumour in her stomach. She prayed to all her Hindu gods, but still she suffered with the pain - (she couldn't afford to pay for any treatment) - one day the team that works in this area came by and visited, and asked if they could pray for her, they did several times, and the pain has now gone - she even went back to the doctors who confirmed the tumour had gone. She was so thankfully to the team, and started to attend the church, and follow Jesus.

It was so exciting to hear her story, and we prayed for her and her family before moving on to the next house we were going to visit, but it was what she did next that blew me away. She asked our translator if we had had breakfast or lunch, and if she could cook us something, our translator explained that we had eaten already, and we needed to go onto the next house. Okay she says, and presses 50 rupees into my hand - this is for you to buy lunch - I tried to refuse and insist that she keep the money - which is equivalent to about a day or two's wages, but she insisted that we needed to eat, and if she couldn't make it for us, then she would pay for us to buy something.

To say I was moved was an understatement, I should be the one giving her money, I'm the "rich" girl from the West, but her heart was moved to give us the money (which we later gave to the church), and I couldn't refuse such a generous gift.

It has made me now, even more determined to raise money back here in the West, to send over to India to support women like her, working 12 hour days to make a living, and not knowing from one day to the next, if she will have a job or not.

Back and raring to go

Hi,

I've just got back from India- our trip went really well, and in reading a work colleagues blog today, I realised that it had been ages since I've actually written on this blog. I come back from India this time with so many more memories, and yet I was seeing the same things over and over again. So many things that happened this time seemed to permeate much more into my consciousness now. I've come back with a greater zeal to raise awareness and money for everything that's happening out in India - such progress is being made, but funds are always needed.

Ages since I've written

Not sure if anyone checks this blog, of course being how long it's been since I've written, not surprising if they've just given up! Am reading a great but challenging book called Don't waste your life by John Piper! I like the book so far - just beginning it, but it is certainly one of those books that makes you take a long hard look at your life, that brings some healthy fear, and makes you re-evaluate your life.

Things are tootling on quite nicely at the moment, getting quite busy, and trying to save money for driving lessons, and also for a 3 week trip to India in November (Am taking 8 other people with me & introducing them to India - quite a challenge!). Driving lessons not going too badly at the moment, mainly 'cos I just switched to automatic from manual! My test date is October 12th and I'm really hoping I pass first time!!

Living in this life, living in today

Talking to this friend of mine the other day, I was sharing a little bit about what it's like being a missionary kid!! The constant desire to keep moving on, to try new things, to not be able to be still. She has another friend who is also a missionary kid, and she was saying to me "I keep telling this person, that if they don't live in today, they're going to miss out on life" - Wise words, and ones that I need to apply to myself.

But there is definitely a thought in me that says, what's happening tomorrow, before today has even barely started! This isn't always a bad thing, but my friend is right, I can miss out on this life, on today, because I'm constantly looking forward.

So what does that actually mean for me? I don't know. I'm much more conscious of myself, of my decisions, of my choices than I was when I was younger. And living for today has to be a very conscious decision, otherwise how else am I going to do it! And frankly in today's climate, when the world seems to be falling apart around one's ears, living for today, might just be the best idea!

Why is life full of pain?

My mum is currently in India right now, and so I'm staying with a friend so that I'm not having to stay by myself (I don't do well alone!!). It's the time of year when I get more down & depressed, and already I've noticed an increase in my chocolate intake, which increases my weight line, which increase my depression - such a vicious cycle! My friend is also going through a tough time, in relationships, and & trying to figure out what direction to go in - it's not an easy decision, and there is pain in the process.

I know there is a point to all of this, that life is not easy, but when it's cold, wet & dreary outside, there just sometimes feels like there is no end to it. I love the summer, when it's warmer, when you can sit in parks & eat your lunch, when life just seems freer & easier, and lighter! I know that throughout life there is always going to be valleys and winters, but it doesn't always make it easier to go through.

In talking to my friend Crystal the other day, she said "maybe it's time for another visit" - she's a sunshine place for me - but at the same time, winter is a necessary thing to go through, and I don't always want to be running and escaping, 'cos then I might miss Spring!!

Oops, it's been a while!

Sorry, I haven't posted in a while, I'm sure people have been checking the blog - or maybe not, and have noticed I haven't posted in a while. Sorry about that. I do occasionally think about doing it, but then don't know if I have anything interesting to say, so say nothing!!

Things are going pretty well in my life. I'm still living at home with my mother, although I do at some point want to move out - however, it makes much more sense with the current economic uncertainty to stay at home where I know if I suddenly lost my job, I wouldn't be kicked out of where I slept at night!!

I just recently had my 6 month probationary review at work, went very well, was very positive, and my boss recently mentioned a particular one year course that I would quite likely be able to do, that work would most likely pay for. It's linked to community work, and some of the current job I'm doing. It all sounds very exciting, and I'm definitely going to look into it.

I'm also looking for a second job, this would be very helpful in helping me clear debts and start to properly save money. I'm not sure what kind of second job would be a good idea, but have applied for a few things including working in a coffee shop.

Am trying to live frugally in 2009, I have no plans for major holidays, even though I would very much like to take one. I think it's important for me to be responsible for my money, and not put things onto Credit cards that I can't immediately pay off. If I do manage to get a second job however, something may be possible later in the year.

Well that's all from me right now - at least I managed to write something in January - so still Happy new year to everyone.